Have you ever been hurt, like really hurt, by someone? Maybe it was a total stranger or maybe it was a family member. How long were you mad at them? Did anyone tell you that you need to “forgive and forget”, “move on”, or “let it go”? If not, lucky you. If you’ve been in this position, you are FAR from alone.

I’ve been in this position more times than I care to count. I’ve been hurt by strangers, friends, and family. I can say from experience that, no matter where the hurt comes from it sucks and forgiveness was the LAST thing on my mind. Luckily, most of this hurt I’ve finally forgiven. Some of it has taken more than 10 years because I’m stubborn but I finally learned the real reason I need to forgive.

Forgiveness isn’t for the other person’s benefit. Read that again. Forgiveness is NOT for the other person’s benefit! I’ve learned that holding resentment toward someone only messes with your life. Nine times out of ten the person who hurt you either doesn’t understand they’ve hurt you or they don’t care. Yes, that sucks but it’s true. The person who hurt you goes on living their lives while you sit in bed thinking about how much you hate them for what they did.

I will say that forgiveness does not mean forgetting, condoning, or excusing what the person did. Forgiveness means that, in your heart, you release the hurt to make room for love. I’m not saying you have to go hug the person I’m not even saying you have to like them (Lord, knows there are people who hurt me that I don’t like) but I’m saying you can’t hate them. If you hate them and refuse to forgive them they’re still taking up space in your life and YOU are allowing them to. I’ve forgiven people that did NOT deserve it but the more I kept it in my heart the angrier of a person I became. I didn’t forget what they’d done and I’m not stupid enough to give them the chance to do it again but by forgiving them and moving on I’ve taken the anger and hatred out of my life to make way for happiness and things I love.

Is there someone in your life that you’re refusing to forgive? Why? I understand that there are PLENTY of reasons to not forgive someone, trust me I know but remember forgiveness isn’t for the other person. Recently, I’ve had to force myself to re-learn this lesson and this time around has been harder than any in the past but I remembered by holding that resentment I was the only one suffering. The other person probably doesn’t care about how their actions are affecting me so I know my forgiveness won’t do anything for them but it helps me sleep better at night and helps me have more attention to focus on those I love.

Forgiveness is not easy nor is it for the weak. It takes strength to forgive someone who doesn’t deserve or someone who didn’t ask for forgiveness. I challenge you today to think of someone who’s hurt you and forgive them. Make more room in your heart for love and happiness but releasing that hurt by forgiving.

Much Love, R