I read an article recently about trauma and how people survive it and it got me thinking about who you become after a trauma. If 2020 hasn’t been traumatic for you consider yourself abundantly blessed. If you’re like most of the population, some trauma has come of 2020 for you.

For me, personally, 2020 has been incredibly traumatic. COVID-19 hit, I lost my amazing father in law, 6 days later I gave birth to our son (3 weeks early), I started therapy, my grandmother passed away in September, and my husband and I bought and are renovating a double wide trailer. To say this year has been traumatic would be an understatement. Am I praying 2021 is better? YES! Am I holding my breath? Lord, no.

After each traumatic experience we go through we have a choice. We can either TRY to be who we were before or we can grow into someone new. The truth is, after trauma you can never be who you were before. Some of you might be, but you’ll never fully be that person again. Trying to be who you were before will only stunt the growth of who you become after.

There are two HUGE wholes in my heart that will never be filled but there is also so much happiness. My 2020 has been filled with hurt and joy at the same time. My heart has new scars and I’ve had painful experiences but I’m choosing to live. There will always be some degree of mourning for those I’ve lost this year but I know neither of them would want me to live in that mourning.

I am choosing to evolve into 2021 and focus on being the best “after” I can be. That means doing what is best for me and my family, trimming off some fat (figuratively and hopefully literally), and focusing on the happy. Today, I choose the after and not trying to be who I was before the trauma.

Which do you choose?

Much Love, R