1950’s: wives stayed home, cleaned, did all the cooking, raised the children (at all times; while dads were at work, while dads were home, at parties, etc), and NEVER complained.

As a mother in this century I can say that there’s a reason most 1950’s moms either smoked, drank, or a combination of both!

Since I’m sure someone will think this, I want to say that I LOVE my children and wouldn’t change them or getting to stay with them for anything in the world. I also want to say, I shouldn’t have to say that. As mother’s when we reach a point where we decide we need to vent we shouldn’t be met with judgement or hostility. I’m not writing this post for the moms, I’m writing it for the family of the moms.

Here’s the thing, on more than one occasion I’ve vented to someone and you know what I heard…I heard about how hard it must be for MY HUSBAND. Yes, he works hard at his job and I can’t even begin to explain how much I appreciate him for that but his hard work doesn’t diminish mine.

This centuries mom’s need to be able to talk to someone (especially during COVID). In my personal opinion, I also believe that not all the housework should fall on one parent. Split the chores. Find a way to make it even.

If you’re a family member of a mom (especially of multiple kids under the age of 10) send her flowers randomly, take her her favorite bottle of wine, send her a random text just to tell her how great she’s doing, and if she trusts you enough to vent LISTEN and don’t make her feel like she shouldn’t be venting or tired. Those actions are the ones that lead to mothers falling into depression and they almost never seek out mental health help because fear of judgment. That fear of judgement that they have is because YOU ALREADY JUDGED THEM!

Make sure the moms around you know they can come to you if they need to, even if it’s just to talk. Being a 2020 mom in a world that expects you to be a 1950’s mom is HARD. And for the love of God, do not tell them how you did this and that when your kids were little and how you never complained. I guarantee that will make them feel like “less than”. These mommas are not you (read that again)!

And to the momma’s out there that are reading this, you’re doing an amazing job and I’m here if you need to vent to someone!

Much Love, R