“Drowning is a type of suffocation induced by the submersion or immersion of the mouth and nose in a liquid. Most instances of fatal drowning occur alone or in situations where others present are either unaware of the victim’s situation or unable to offer assistance.”
“be overwhelmed by a large amount of something.”

Did you know that drownings are the fifth most common causes of accidental deaths according to the CDC (preceded by poisonings including drug over dose, motor vehicle accidents, falls, and suffocation by ingestions and inhalation)? According to WHO (World Health Organization) more than 350,000 people die every year from drowning. Between July 1, 2019 and June 30, 2020 (less than 1 year) in Australia there were 248 drownings and 39%, that’s 97 people, died. Drowning is a main factor in death tolls in all areas all year long (not just in the summer months).

Did you also know that 25 million Americans suffer from depression each year and that over 50% of all people who die due to suicide suffer from major depression? During the Great Depression (in the 1920s) suicide rates in the U.S. reached an all-time high, over 22 suicides per 100,000 people! Before the Covid pandemic, 8.5% of adults in the U.S. reported being depressed, now that number stands at a crazy 27.8%.

So why am I writing about drowning then about depression? Simple, the two are the same. As I stated above “Most instances of fatal drowning occur alone or in situations where others present are either unaware of the victim’s situation or unable to offer assistance.”, as with most deaths caused by suicide that stem from depression, most people have people around who are either unaware of the depression or are unable to help. The truth is though, that everyone is able to help is some form or another. If you know the most common signs of depression you can help. Look for the signs, encourage your friend to get help, let them know you are here to listen and hear them WITHOUT judgment, reassure them that the conversation will go no further than your ears, and then just listen. If they want your advice they will ask.

Maybe you don’t know the common signs. Well, here they are:

• Persistent sad feelings or lack of motivation
• Loss of interest in hobbies, friends, and/or sex
• Excessive fatigue or feeling slowed down in thinking, speaking, or movement
• Increased or decreased appetite
• Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
• Trouble concentrating and making decisions
• Irritability
• Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
• Weight loss or gain
• Thoughts of suicide
• Aches pains or digestive problems
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness

Maybe these are things that you are currently witnessing in someone and now you’re worried about them being suicidal. Well, here’s a list of signs for that too:

• Threats or talk of suicide (even if you think they are just kidding please talk to them)
• Statements implying they don’t care about anything or won’t be around anymore
• Giving away their stuff; making a will or funeral arrangements
• The purchase of a gun or other weapon
• Sudden, unexplained cheerfulness or calm after a period of depression

If you observe any of this behavior get help right away! Call a health care professional, mental health clinic, or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 to get advice about what action to take. You will not be alone in helping save a life.

Now let’s say you’ve read this far and you feel like this isn’t a blog for you. I mean after all, it’s just numbers and lists of what to do and you don’t have anyone in your life who is battling depression, right? If that’s true then GREAT! I’m happy for your family and friends…if that’s true. But if I’m being honest, it kind of sounds like you may need to open your eyes a bit wider. More than 1 in 4 adults in the U.S. are battling depression (yup, another number I just threw at you). If you can think of 4 adults and “none of them are depressed” I think you may need to look at them harder. I sat here while I wrote that sentence and thought of 4 adults and I know at least 2 of them have fought depression in the last few months or are fighting depression now.

See, depression isn’t the same for everyone. It’s definitely not a “one size fits” all illness which means there is not one correct way to treat it. I, for one, know that therapy and running/walking help me. Talking has always been something I am super good at (just ask all the teachers who kicked me out of class for talking)but some people hate talking about how they are feeling. Journaling is incredibly therapeutic for some of the people who hate talking because its a place to put your thoughts down instead of letting them occupy much needed space in your head and heart. Taking antidepressants helps others. Avoiding caffeine, alcohol, and stressful situations has also been known to help.

The way I see it, you won’t know if anyone around you is drowning in their depression because you’re not looking at them for who they truly are. Many people battling depression will put on a brave face in front of people (yes, including family and even spouses) so they don’t feel like they are burdening you. Many depressed individuals would rather battle alone because they feel like their fight would make them look weak to others and we live in a world where asking for help and appearing weak is a shameful thing.

I do feel the need to explain that this isn’t all just “blowing smoke” this is coming from someone who regularly fights this battle. In August of 2020 I was finally convinced, by my husband, to reach out to my doctor. After a video appointment (the day I reached out) my doctor had me connected to a therapist who got me into counseling within the week. I was diagnosed with “adjustment disorder and postpartum blues”. Had my husband not been aware of who I really am and how I really act he would’ve never known I wasn’t ok. I say this next part not to offend anyone but to drive home my point, 12 days prior to the day I called my doctor we had a birthday party for me at our home. I was surrounded by those closest to me for a few hours, we told jokes, told stories, ate junk food, and laughed for hours. I put on a smile, I dressed up, I opened gifts, I paraded around in the new clothes I’d received…I looked fine. But that just wasn’t my reality. Like I said, this is not to point out those that were at the party that didn’t see what was really going on, this is to show that someone who knows how can certainly hide the darkness well.

If you know someone battling depression and you want to help just be there for them. A while ago I started a mental health check in with a family member of mine and the only rule we have is that we can’t lie to one another. Will one know if the other lies? No, but I think we each hope the other is being open and honest and it shows that we are here for each other. There is no small talk or anything leading up the check in, one of us just simply texts the other and says something like “Hey. Mental health check! How are you?” and we go from there. Its easy but effective. There have been times when one of us says what’s going on and the other asks if there is anything they can do to help and usually the answer is no, not right now, or I don’t think so and that’s ok. Its honestly, one of the best things I think we’ve ever done.

If you ever need help with talking to someone I am always here to help (please keep in mind that I am not a mental health care provider, just someone trying to make the world a little better).

Much Love, R