30 things to do by the time you’re 30. I know, it’s a cliche but I think it’s super important. And yes, I do have a 30 by 30 list (you’ll see it later). A 30 by 30 list, in my opinion, is mostly important for women. As women, when we get close to turning 30, for some reason, we start to panic. I do want to take a second to be transparent, I am turning 29 in 4 months (well 2 days shy of 4 months anyway) and I am in no way panicking over becoming a year closer to 30. My husband keeps telling me that will change but I doubt it. To me, age is just a number. It’s not an expiration date or something to fear. I think each year is a major accomplishment, that is why I fully believe in celebrating each and every birthday in some fashion. There are a ton of people (my husband included) who believe a party every year is not necessary I, on the other hand, live to throw those parties!

Since I live to celebrate each birthday as an accomplishment I look at my 30 to 30 list a little differently. When I first wrote my list it was in response to an amazing blog I had read (which you can find here: https://adoseofdouglas.com/30-before-30/ ). I read that blog and knew I HAD to write a list (if you don’t know I love lists, especially when you can check stuff off). I sat down and thought to myself “When I am celebrating my 30th birthday what do I want to be able to say that I’d done?” my first draft were all these amazing things that would make anyone proud to be my family member or friend. Big things like climb half dome (yes, I still want to do this), start a non profit for pregnancy and infant loss awareness (still going to do that too), and make all my clothes for a year (let’s all take a moment to laugh at this one, if you know me you know I break every sewing machine I touch…just ask my mom). These were EXTRAVAGANT dreams, not unreachable but extravagant. Once I looked at my list I realized half the things I had written down were either not me or didn’t need a time constraint (why can’t I climb half dome at 31?). So back to the drawing board I went.

My second, and final draft, reflected me so much better than the first. It’s manageable and things I really long to do for myself are on it. It may not impress anybody but that’s ok. I had to realize that the things on this list were meant for me to do and not meant to make others think that I’m amazing (as long as my husband and my kids love me that’s all that matters). I found out so much about myself when I wrote my list. I narrowed down the things that are important to me and, in a way, rediscovered who I am and what I want in this life.

So as promised here is my on going list (items in red have been accomplished):

Some of these things may seem like a big deal, like running another 1/2 marathon, and some may seem silly to you, like use an entire notebook. To me each and every thing on this list is so important. I am proud to say I wrote this list in January of 2019 and I am currently half way done (I am almost done with #8 as well but until I’m completely done and that life is outside of my womb it’ll stay un-highlighted). I feel like it is so important that EVERYONE has a list ( it doesn’t have to be 30, maybe a 50 by 50, 60 by 60, or even an 100 by 100 list) so you remember your dreams. There is not a single person on this planet that can honestly say they have no dreams so there is no reason why each and everyone of you can’t write a list. A completely selfish list. That’s right, I said it. This list is 100% about you! It’s not there to impress anyone or force anyone to join you (although if anyone wants to run a half marathon in about a year hit me up!), it’s there to make you happy as you accomplish each of your dreams.

As a final thought, I beg of you not to compare your list to anyone’s. Everyone’s list will be different. The blog I read when I first wrote mine has the author’s list in it and trust me when I say she dreams BIG ( in a super great way. Go read it!). I must admit that when I wrote my first list I was totally comparing mine to her’s and thus comparing me to her. When I rewrote my list I decided the first thing to do was shut off my computer. If I couldn’t see her list I couldn’t compare mine to her’s. If you need to shut off your computer to be able to write your list without comparing it to mine please do! I hope some of you make your lists and if you want to share them I’d love to read them and will be cheering you on as you cross each item off! Don’t ever forget that I am rooting for you.

UPDATED 8/13/2020: I turned 29 years old 8 days ago. I haven’t accomplished much off my list since my original post but I did do some. For example, I did a water perm but my hair was too long so I didn’t achieve the goal of an Afro. But I did manage to try which means another thing off the list! I’m already working on other things to mark off the list and I know I will get that list done before my 30th birthday! Here’s the updated list!

Much Love, R